Monday, June 9, 2014

Curiosity Killed the Cat

…or in this case, the proposal.     -_-

Yes, I found out it was going to happen before it happened but I totally didn't mean to….but terrible none the less.

Taking it back to the evening of Wednesday, January 15th 2014. He had a church ball game that night and afterwards we went to his house so he could shower. While he was in the shower I was sitting in his room…..just waiting……bored. So, after running out of things to look at on my phone, I was looking at things on his phone. One of the 'things' being his messages. hahaha. Don't judge me, I'm not a psycho girlfriend, I promise. Lol. One of his text conversations specifically were with one of his mission companions and his companion asked him if he'd proposed yet. To that Muka responded, "No not yet, but I'm going to this upcoming Monday. I talked to her parents and everything."


My heart started beating so fast and hard. It took everything in me to calm myself before he got out of the shower. I read that message so fast like 5+ times. haha. Than I put his phone back where it was and had a mini panic attack. haha. I HAD to tell someone. But I knew I couldn't call and tell my mom or sisters, they'd tell Muka for sure. I couldn't tell my girl cousins I'm close with because they would for sure tell their moms or my mom/sisters. So I called my good friend that I work with, Malesah…..she didn't answer. -__-  So I group txt two of my close friends that know practically everything about my relationship, Jennie and Cassie. They were texting me back like crazy over the news but I had to hurry and delete the messages and turn my ringer off because I could hear Muka getting out of the shower and coming to his room! (I'm absolutely dying even more at this point.)

He comes in the room & I play it off the best I can. He gives me a kiss. But that simple quick kiss meant just a little more than any other kiss due to the fact that I knew/had proof that he was ready and committed to asking me one of the biggest questions of anyones life! You know the saying, "made my heart smile." Well not many times can I say that I truly felt that. But this night was definitely one of them.

Than it kicked in that I knew the surprise and I felt terrible.. haha.

Fast forward a few days, he found out I knew because Jennie and Cassie just didn't want it to happen with me knowing…they wanted me to experience the moment so they ended up telling my mom and my mom telling Muka… I couldn't be mad at that. They had the best intentions. But I felt worse when I knew that he knew. But he played it off every day as if he didn't. Such a sweet heart. Oh how the mission calmed his nerves. haha. (;

Monday rolls around, January 20th, which happens to be our anniversary, our 8 year anniversary! I totally loved that he did it that day. It's funny because like 2 weeks prior I told my sister she should suggest to Muka that he should propose on our anniversary or on my birthday. haha. I said that not really thinking it'd happen.

Anyways! I woke up that morning and said a prayer first thing. I asked the lord if there was any way he could make it so that if the proposal were to happen that day, that he could help me to experience it as if I never knew. That I could have that moment and that Muka could as well. That my face or body language wouldn't ruin it for him.
And so it was.
& I know the lord sent out a special blessing that evening for Muka and I. Because it happened and I truly was surprised and caught off guard.

His sister and her family were in from out of state and he told me they wanted to go out to dinner that night and that we were going to a fancy restaurant so everyone was dressing up. We went out to dinner, I didn't really expect it there…maybe afterwards, being that we were at temple square. I thought we'd walk around and he'd ask me there. Where we had our first kiss maybe? But after we ate, everyone said they wanted to go to the movies. So we all left to the movies. The girls in one car and the boys in the other. My sister called me while we were driving and asked me if we could pick her up from my grandmas and take her home, so we did. (Which i was less than amused about. haha) We pulled up to my house, the girls said the movie wasn't starting for a bit so we should just hang at my house. I was hesitant because i just wanted to be with Muka on our day. haha But we got out the car and I went to unlock the door. When I opened the door, the lights flicked on & I saw all of my family crowded in the living room. Everyone was smiling and looked excited and anxious. And Muka was there, standing at the top of the stairs for me. And for probably the 3rd or 4th time in this post, I will repeat…..I (almost) died. haha. I did NOT expect it! He knows I'm super shy with lovey dovey things in public so it caught me off guard for sure. haha. He grabbed my hand, walked me to the middle of the room, sat me down on a chair, and after a few minutes of silence (haha) asked me if I'd marry him! :) :) :)

And that was it! 8 years to the day of first meeting one another, I was his fiancé.

Soon to be Mrs. Atiga!

Monday, June 2, 2014

The First Date

The first date…
the first kiss…
the first time seeing his name and number show up on your phone…
the first texts…
the first weeks…

..that's what makes the wait worth waiting for. 

Like I mentioned in my last two posts about the homecoming, it all was super exciting but I hadn't yet experienced the "us" feeling. The feeling I'd feel all of the time before he'd left and while he was gone. The cloud 9, so happy, and crazy in love feeling. 
It was making me super nervous and worried too because I didn't feel it when I first saw him at the airport OR the night he came to my house and we hugged and talked. The first 4 days were emotional and confusing for me because I was still waiting to experience that feeling again. While waiting for that feeling it was almost like starting a relationship from the beginning again. Having all the fun "firsts" you have in a new relationship but than you already know and are in love with that person. It was so exciting for the both of us.

On day 3 of him being home we planned to go on our first date. I had butterflies all day! That evening came and I was working up a sweat while getting ready cause I was so nervous thinking what we would be going to do and wanting to look perfect. haha. Earlier that day, when he text if he could take me out that night he said he wasn't sure what we should do and brought up going to the movies. (We have always loved going to the movies.) But throughout that day I of coarse was thinking about it and figured that wouldn't be a good first date cause we had SO MUCH catching up to do, and you can't do that during a movie! So I had to think of a different idea to tell him once he'd pick me up. So back to the story...he got to my house to pick me up and I was still trying to finish my make up so he sat down with my parents and talked to them until I was finished. It made my heart so happy. Having him back in my parents house and listening to them talk to each other and catch up. He said something while talking to them that I thought was so cute. After telling them he was there to pick me up for a date he said, "the drive here was one of the longest drives of my life." :) I finally felt content with how I look and we were off. When walking to his truck, he grabbed my hand and we held hands walking to the car. I could tell he was so nervous….and so was I. haha. Once we were in the car I told him all I really wanted to do was go somewhere that we could just talk and catch up. So he drove us to temple square. We did the Salt Lake temple square tour and it was awesome. Holding hands, walking around, laughing together. No longer being the single one seeing all the other couples. haha. :) 
At the end of the tour we walked around the outside some more. We hadn't kissed yet but I knew it was coming as soon as our walk led us the the "podium" spot that over looks the temple on the east side of temple square. (as seen below)

And that is where it happened! If it was up to me, it wouldn't have happened yet because I was too nervous and not up for it. But I'm glad it did. It at least showed he wanted to and that was a good thing, after all, I was still stressing if he still felt as much in love with me since I hadn't experienced that feeling yet. haha. Yes we had our first kiss but the feeling still hadn't shown up, BUT it did sort of break the ice that still was lingering. We walked to the fountain after wards that is just east of the podium and talked some more while he hugged me and randomly would keep kissing me. haha. It was cute. It just felt good. Feeling that feeling again.  During that time I'd brought up that feeling I'd been having, being nervous that coming home, he may not feel the same about me as before and to that he said, "well I'm not gonna lie, the night before coming home and before the airport, I know Satan was really trying to get to me." After that he assured that everything was okay and he loved me and kissed me again, but that sentence, just that one sentence as a reply was all the sat with me. I'm sure knowing the details of what he felt satan was making him think/feel probably wouldn't make me feel any better, but I was curious. I couldn't help it. I wanted to know what exactly it was making him think/feel that night before coming home and before getting on the plane. And after getting those feelings what he told himself in my defense. But I didn't ask. That'd be too much crazy to unleash on a first date. haha. So I kept it in..and had another night and next day of not much sleep and a loss of appetite. haha. 

I will now just make the long story short because I tend to drag things out……the feeling did come. That next night. Friday night. Our second night out. He wanted to be with his family, and there was a wedding that night. So we attended with his family, than went to a late night dinner, and after that he went to drop me off at home. It was just the two of us when he went to take me home and as we pulled up to my house I just wasn't ready to have him leave. I still wanted to be with him. haha. So we talked for a few short minutes and than he leaned in to kiss me good night. I don't know what the difference was between that kiss and the kiss the night prior, but it was THAT kiss that had the those feelings rushing in. At this time, when we was going to drop me off, it was midnight. Well after that kiss, we sat in his truck and talked until 4 in the morning. It was amazing. My love was back and I was the happiest girl ever. Before leaving on his mission, I always found myself saying in my head, I'm going to marry this boy. That night sitting in his truck, talking until 4am, in my mind all I could think was, I can't believe I'm going to marry this MAN! He was the same boy I remembered two years ago, my high school sweet heart, but he'd grown up in a way I'd never known and was an even better man now. 

That night was than the first night of several where I found myself just counting down for when he would propose! (; 

11-14-13: Our first date at Temple Square

His Homecoming, His first Sunday Home