So I'll admit...sometimes I get doubts in my head. And they always creep up when I'm most vulnerable. Ain't that how it works?! Annoying! Anyways, they're of the possibility of things changing between me and my missionary. Not on my end really but on his. Of him not feeling the same, changing his mind...or him coming home and the both of us finding that it doesn't "feel" the same and walking away from it all..what we've built for seven years. Sad thoughts/doubts, right?! Hah. Anyways, yes... I OBVIOUSLY have my debbie downer days. Even though he tells me every week in his letters that he loves me..those thoughts seem to just creep up. (Female Problems!! Lol.)
So with this being said, it NEVER fails..subtle signs pop up that I feel the Lord gives me to assure me that it's all gonna be okay. Those subtle signs being Tiffany and Jeff, Marie, Dave, Chris, and Noelle.
Those names are of friends that Elder Atiga has made through his mission. And they've found me on Facebook and have sent me messages telling me of how they heard about me from Elder Atiga and how they know he loves me.
Everything happens for a reason and has a purpose and it's so crazy when you really stop to notice that in situations throughout your life. Things as simple as meeting someone or sending them a message/saying hey. I don't think these people really know that they are blessings to me and how much their messages mean to me. (: I dunno what I've done to be given these blessings/signs right when I need them..but I must be doing something right! hah. So if they happen to read this, THANK YOU Tiffany and Jeff, Marie, Dave, Chris, and Noelle...for your time, sweet messages, and friendship.. they mean more than you know to me. (:
p.s. Everyone should know I only have less than 9 months until he comes home!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (:
Hang in there, girl!! I know EXACTLY how you feel. Two thoughts help me the most when I feel discouraged. One: I shouldn't read into his letters so much. His letter-writing time is very limited, so it won't always say exactly what he probably meant. Two: Why WOULDN'T things work out for us? There are ten times (at least!) more reasons of why it will work out than why it wouldn't. And even even on the teeny-tiny chance it wouldn't, it'd only be because the Lord has something even better planned. You've got this!
ReplyDeleteAlso, not sure if this is your kind of music, but "I Will Wait" by Mumford & Sons could be immensely helpful and awesome for you.
DeleteOh my gosh Emilie, SO TRUE!!!! I try not to read too much into the letters. Cause they I see how stupid I look by doing so. haha. You're so right. I'm glad to know it's not just me. Thank you (: You're awesome. and I JUST HEARD that song today! Loved it and thought of all missionary girlfriends (: haha.
ReplyDeletedoubts are the worst...we all get them though, so dont worry. just let them go. and 9 months?!?! no way...no way no way no way! i started following your blog when he left! and that, that was yesterday!!!
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