Thursday, October 13, 2011

Every End is a New Beginning

Today was a day I'll never forget. Muka left. I had in my mind an idea of how this day would go down...and to my surprise, it was completely different. But in a great way. (:

Coming up to this day I was so super emotional. All I'd have to do is just really think about it I'd automatically cry. Lol. So this past Tuesday morning, the day before he would be leaving (the morning of the day he'd get set apart) he came over. It was just us two and he sat me down it the kitchen and gave me a blessing. As soon as he laid his hands on my head I couldn't keep it in. Lol. It was a great blessing...the spirit was definitely with us. I tried to get it together before he closed the blessing but it wasn't working. After we said amen he just hugged me from behind and told me he loved me and oh gosh...the heavy tears and ugly voice came reeaal quick!...Haha. Don't get me wrong, the blessing did really help...even though I cried like a baby right after, I did have a feeling of comfort come over me. It was just the thoughtful-ness of the blessing mixed with the reality of it being my "last day" with My Muka...before he became an Elder (meaning no more alone time, holding hands, kissing, or hugging) I just had to let it out.

So anyway...I was pretty confident the morning we'd be taking him to the MTC (missionary training center)...up until we got out of the car to say our good-bye's. Now let me remind you that once you pull into the MTC to drop off your missionary, you cannot get out of the car and say your good-bye's there. If anything, you get the luggage out the car and the parents can get out and say a quick good bye. Sooo, before officially dropping him off, we parked across the street (at the temple) and everyone said their good-bye's. I couldn't really watch him say bye to everyone because like I said, as soon as we got out of the car I just started crying. He came to me last and we just hugged (yes, we still hugged even though he was an elder, there were other preisthood holders present! hah.) and he told me that everything was gonna be'd go by fast, he'd be home soon. and he just kept saying that he loved me so much.. So we finished huggin it out and than got in the car to drive him to the MTC. Now there were 3 cars that we went up with, his 2 best friends came, me and my 2 sisters, and his parents, siblings, and nieces and nephew. They were all nice enough to let me and my sisters go with him and his parents to drop him off at the MTC.
 We were about to pull up to the gate and Muka grabbed my hand and held it really tight..we pulled into the gate and he kissed my hand. Agh, I could have died guys, you have no idea. Lol. We waited for our turn to pull up to the unload area and just before he got out he hugged me tight, said I love you and kissed my forehead. That guys face once he stepped foot on that ground just lit up. I've seen him happy, but not like that. He was honestly glowing and never looked more handsome. It was at that point that I immediately felt content. Like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders...we finally have done what's been worked on for so long. I was nothing but beyond excited for him cause I knew how amazing he'd be and how much he'd love being there. I cried after that (just a little) cause of how happy I was and than also because that's when it really hit his mom that he was gonna be gone for 2 years and she broke down.

But agh, I can't really explain how I've felt since that moment. I'm sooo happy. My sister keeps saying it's cause it hasn't hit me yet...but it hit me this whole past week. I mean thus far it's just been an adjustment to stop checking my phone to see if he's txt or called but other than that, I just feel so at peace. Because I know he's okay, I know how excited he is right now, I know he still loves me and will continue to think of me, and I know the lord is with us. Me and Muka had pillow cases for each other that we wrote on, so when we're feeling down or whatever we can read em..but we were going to wait until our first night apart to read them..and he put it best when he said, "..I know serving the lord these next 2 years will only help our relationship grow into God's relationship that he wants us to enjoy ..this happiness is definitely what Heavenly Father wants us to feel forever, i can feel it so strong"..

Yeah I'll have hard days, but I'm completely confident and content with this choice. I may not know exactly what is in store these next two years. but there's no doubt in my mind that the love i feel for Elder Atiga today will be just the same if not more the next time i see him.. in 2 years.

I'm officially a Missionary Girlfriend. And I LOVE MY MISSIONARY!  Hah. (:
Yes, I'm writing this blog, wearing a shirt of Muka's. haha (:

It's super late, so I'll post the pics tomorrow!! ..hopefully (:


  1. I'm a random person that saw the title and I had to stop by and read. Your boyfriend will get lost in the work and maybe you can too. The time will go by fast if you keep yourself busy. Missionaries come back on a spiritual high with a higher knowledge. You can prepare yourself while he's gone too. Sooo ya that's my 2cents on that.

  2. Awwwwww!! Almost cried!! Now you've got letters and emails to look forward to! It's the best getting something in the mail, hearing about their experiences and receiving pictures (and sometimes surprise boxes full of goodies). :)

  3. oh my gosh Cass! This really did almost make me cry I cant even imagine! But good for you, you sound very strong and positive. And I love that you guys thought for him to give you a blessing!

  4. im so happy for you!!! its really a great experience. even if its hard at times. you did great though! im so excited to hear all your missionary girl stories :) you can do this! and dont listen to anyone that tells you you cant!!

  5. What a neat experience!! That's so cool that you were able to receive a blessing from him and go with to drop him off! love it! =)

  6. @Simi: Thanks so much (: i agree.

    @Ashley: Thaaanks! I'm so excited (:

    @Jenn: Thanks girl (: fun seeing you and chatting last weekend!

    @Megan nd Sierra: Thanks so much reading your posts too. it's so encouraging(: